Love Oh Love

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There was a woman on Reddit, in the latterdaysaints community, talking about “the one that got away.” This guy she never actually dated—they just flirted when they were younger. Now she’s married with kids to a man who seems to treat her well, cares for her, and tries his best.

And she’s like, “Ohhh, you guys never let the one get away.” She got called out in the comments—not in a mean way, but in a “please, woman, choose your husband and choose to love him” kind of way.

It seems like there are two types of people: those obsessed with some idealized, crazy notion of love, focused on feelings and fantasy, and those focused on intentions—the person right in front of them who’s trying their best to love them, and whom they focus on in return.

But some people are emotionally cheating on the real partner, the real lover, the actual person in their life, for someone they never even dated! It really upsets me because it’s so unfair to the person they’re actually with.

I think this is a perfect example of the kind of conversation to have when dating: Are you the type of person who believes love is about choosing someone, or someone obsessed with chasing a feeling?

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