Aida Hashemi

 I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

It's ending!!!

 Freedom!!!

I appreciate everything, and I'm sorry to say this, but since I’m only looking for something serious intended for marriage, this kind of interaction isn't what I'm looking for right now, so I’m going to pass.

Ever since I was 11 years old, my life has been defined—and drastically changed—by school. Between the strictness of exams and the constant pressure of deadlines, I fell into a sedentary lifestyle and unhealthy eating habits that lasted for years. I am beyond happy to finally close that chapter of my life; the excuses end here. I feel so grateful to be moving my body again (well in 4 days!!!), and I hope I never take that for granted. It feels especially amazing in the pool—the perfect temperature and the weightless ease of movement are unlike anything else. I am so, so happy and incredibly excited for what's next!

"Reappraisal involves framing a situation differently to decrease emotional experience and physiological response."

 I can't wait!!!

Okay, maybe I’m being dramatic, but also... I'm not. Sleep is important, and them bringing guests over and being loud at midnight woke me up. I couldn't get back to sleep for a long time. Moral of the story: choose your roommates wisely and prioritize getting enough sleep.

YOU GUYS. I just had a total "aha!" moment. (And yeah, I might have thought this before, but it’s hitting differently today.) What if we only practiced  "friend-dating"  until marriage? The rules are simple: You don’t do anything a friend wouldn't do. You keep things platonic and low-pressure, but with one major twist: you’re viewing everything through the lens of marriage and long-term commitment. The goal? To stay objective. It’s so much easier to spot major incompatibilities, red flags, or value differences when you aren't blinded by intense physical or emotional attachment. If it doesn't work out, you’re just losing a friend. It hurts, sure—but it’s not the world-shattering heartbreak that comes from soul-tie-level bonding. The "Friends-First" Philosophy of Marriage - April 16th, 2026 The philosophy is "Commitment First, Attachment Second." By keeping the boundaries of a friendship while dating for the purpose of marriage, you get...

 Good idea or nah?

It’s hard to talk about this without feeling like I’m overstepping, but I’ve been reflecting.... He mentioned his attraction towards men several times, and if he were to eventually come out as gay or bi, it would explain so much. I think that's the last piece of closure that would be nice to have. But I would never ask directly.

Now I know why  The Lying Game  has been so healing for me. You get completely absorbed in a new world full of mystery, and for a moment, you totally forget about your own life—that’s exactly what I needed. Who knew that a good mystery and a cast of attractive people (shoutout to Alexandra Chando, I love you) could be so therapeutic for moving past old trauma?

Here’s the thing: I’m about to finally be free in about 2.5 weeks, and I’m scared of dying. I feel like I’ve started loving life again, so I really don’t want to lose it. That’s a big contrast from last year, when I felt like living was harder than death and being in heaven. Now I really want to see my family, play tennis and pickleball, and play the piano, among other things.

It's so weird—my childhood favorite TV show,  The Lying Game , is somehow bringing me back to life! Getting to escape into that world is such a blessing. 

It's crazy, but thank you. I'm definitely embarrassed—it's like a teenager has been writing these posts… But I’ll try to do better now. XOXO (I'm sorry I couldn't resist) - Aida

Perceived partner commitment-> This is important for relationship satisfaction. By the way, something happened today that helped me understand cheating a little better. Imagine being vegan for five years, and then, out of curiosity or weakness, you eat a small amount of meat. In that moment, you’re no longer vegan—it only takes a few seconds of different choices to step outside that identity. Something similar can happen in a relationship. If you’ve been married for five years and your partner cheats—even if it’s “just” a kiss—it can still feel like everything has changed. Why does one action carry such heavy consequences? Why does it break trust or seem to erase so much? Logically, it might seem like it shouldn’t matter that much. But emotionally, it does. If my partner of five years kissed someone else, it would hurt. Fear, doubt, and distrust can take over, and suddenly everything feels unstable. It’s chaotic, and it really sucks.

Okay, so finance is definitely not my passion. This project is way harder than I expected, and it’s giving major CS energy—being thrown into something where I have no idea what’s going on and just having to figure it out anyway. Not fun. Future me: if you’re ever tempted to go down this path again, please remember how this felt. You deserve to do something that actually excites you, not something that drains you like this.

Wow, I reread some of my old blog posts and quite a few were really negative. I’m sorry—that was a lot of neuroticism. No worries, though. I’ll try to self-soothe and be more emotionally stable. But honestly, I might be cheating a bit, because Imma be done with school—and LOVE LIFE AGAIN!!!

Miranda Hope  and  Chase McWhorter She is absolutely stunning, and he’s a tall, good-looking guy. Chase has mentioned that he doesn't really get jealous, and he clearly enjoys the freedom of dating around. A traditional nuclear family doesn't seem to be on his radar. In his current state, he wouldn't exactly fit the archetype of a romance novel hero... unless, of course, he found "the one" and traded his desire for variety for the singular goal of keeping her. The most intriguing part to me, though, is his  lack of jealousy . I struggle to wrap my head around that. It raises a deep question:  Can you truly love someone without feeling jealous? Maybe the answer is simply that people love differently. Some love might be less intense, or perhaps it’s just as powerful but expressed through a different lens. Loving without a trace of possessiveness is a "weird" concept, especially by the standards of romance novels, where jealousy is often used as a benchmark...

My new obsession 

It’s as simple as that—I just need to accept it. I used to be smarter about this simple fact (I'm referring to High School). It really is easy to understand, yet somehow I’ve recently struggled with it. Sure, it makes me a little sad, but I’m also so excited about playing pickleball, swimming, going to the sauna, and more. Freedom! I’m not going to let this ruin my life. I’m going to focus on enjoying life to the fullest and finding a healthy balance between work and my hobbies. That’s it—simple as that.

I can’t believe school will be finished soon—I’m so, so happy I’ll finally be free. Freedom! Freedom! I’m planning to binge-watch TV, binge-read books, go to the sauna, and swim. I seriously can’t wait to read in the sauna!!! By the way, I had such a relaxing weekend last week. I watched  You  with German subtitles, and it was really nice. I’ve also been wanting to finish  Ginny & Georgia —I love Paul and Georgia together. Their relationship is so cute, and I just love Paul. I really want to finish it, but I’ve been telling myself that delayed gratification is best. If I start studying seriously for finals now, I’ll have way less stress later.