Aida Hashemi

Here’s the thing: I’m about to finally be free in about 2.5 weeks, and I’m scared of dying. I feel like I’ve started loving life again, so I really don’t want to lose it. That’s a big contrast from last year, when I felt like living was harder than death and being in heaven. Now I really want to see my family, play tennis and pickleball, and play the piano, among other things.

It's so weird—my childhood favorite TV show,  The Lying Game , is somehow bringing me back to life! Getting to escape into that world is such a blessing. 

It's crazy, but thank you. I'm definitely embarrassed—it's like a teenager has been writing these posts… But I’ll try to do better now. XOXO (I'm sorry I couldn't resist) - Aida

Perceived partner commitment-> This is important for relationship satisfaction. By the way, something happened today that helped me understand cheating a little better. Imagine being vegan for five years, and then, out of curiosity or weakness, you eat a small amount of meat. In that moment, you’re no longer vegan—it only takes a few seconds of different choices to step outside that identity. Something similar can happen in a relationship. If you’ve been married for five years and your partner cheats—even if it’s “just” a kiss—it can still feel like everything has changed. Why does one action carry such heavy consequences? Why does it break trust or seem to erase so much? Logically, it might seem like it shouldn’t matter that much. But emotionally, it does. If my partner of five years kissed someone else, it would hurt. Fear, doubt, and distrust can take over, and suddenly everything feels unstable. It’s chaotic, and it really sucks.

Okay, so finance is definitely not my passion. This project is way harder than I expected, and it’s giving major CS energy—being thrown into something where I have no idea what’s going on and just having to figure it out anyway. Not fun. Future me: if you’re ever tempted to go down this path again, please remember how this felt. You deserve to do something that actually excites you, not something that drains you like this.

Wow, I reread some of my old blog posts and quite a few were really negative. I’m sorry—that was a lot of neuroticism. No worries, though. I’ll try to self-soothe and be more emotionally stable. But honestly, I might be cheating a bit, because Imma be done with school—and LOVE LIFE AGAIN!!!