Posts

Showing posts from October, 2025

Dear ___

I despise the way I look. There are so many things about myself that I can’t stand. I could never be with someone like you. You were right when you said you had higher standards — it makes complete sense to me now. I loathe myself, and I’m grateful that you saw me for who I truly am. Attractive men have never loved me, and perhaps they never will. Thankfully, life on this earth isn’t eternal, and all painful things shall eventually pass.

Heartbreak, Again

Today has been an exceptionally difficult day. It felt like I was experiencing heartbreak all over again. I’m fairly certain that the man who shall not be named has moved on; I think he’s seeing someone new. She’s stunning and seems to share quite a bit in common with him. I spent some time crying in public bathrooms today because I couldn’t hold it in. The emotional weight was intense — I felt profoundly depressed. Swimming offered a small reprieve, a brief respite from the heaviness. I won’t lie, there were moments when I truly wanted to disappear. However, a post on Reddit gave me some perspective (I’ve attached it below). It’s painful to realize that all the time we shared, all the experiences, conversations, activities — none of it seemed to matter to him. He doesn’t desire a future like that. He doesn’t prioritize our shared moments: going to the pool, discussing nutrition, playing ping pong, or even simple acts of affection. He once said I treated him sweetly, but perhaps his pr...