I won't be dating for the rest of my life

-

I don’t want to risk heartbreak, and I want to avoid the possibility of getting pregnant after 30. I’m sure there are other reasons, but I’m not going to list them right now.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Survival of the fittest

-
You know, ever since I was 10, I’ve hated the way I looked—except for one brief year, from 22 to 23. That was when I started going to church and thought, for once, that the guys I liked actually liked me back. But that feeling was short-lived. I was wrong—they all chose other girls over me. Returning to the body dysmorphia, the crying, the self-hate—it felt like coming home. Like slipping back into my natural state. Strangely, there was comfort in it. That year—when I thought I was finally seen—was confusing. I kept asking, If they find me attractive, then why don’t they choose me? The answer? I was wrong. They didn’t find me that attractive.  Anyway, I don’t know if I want to keep going to church anymore. With body dysmorphia, you hate yourself so much that the idea of friends or family seeing you becomes unbearable. At least that’s how it’s been for me. But here’s the part I weirdly love: going back to wearing no makeup, being okay with being “ugly,” not trying to impress anyone...
Read more

My Life Plan (For Now)

-
I think I finally have a sense of direction in my life. I’m passionate about sales (and real estate), so I’ll likely focus on that after graduation . I’d also like to swim and use the sauna nearly every day. That’s about all I know for now. If I can’t secure a job in that field, I’ll take any good opportunity that comes my way. When I have ample free time, I’ll explore philosophy and psychology, learn to play the piano, and study German. I also plan to read more about nutrition and romance literature, and I’d like to try writing some stories of my own. Oh no, I forgot to mention how much I love pickleball! I definitely want to get better at it. I also love ping pong and racket sports in general. Apparently, they’re some of the best activities for longevity. Additionally, I aim to invest as much as I can. I also want to pray for those I feel compassion for. Right now, my heart breaks for Erika Kirk and her children. Rest in peace, Charlie Kirk. It’s so heartbreaking.
Read more

Heartbreak, Again

-
Today has been an exceptionally difficult day. It felt like I was experiencing heartbreak all over again. I’m fairly certain that the man who shall not be named has moved on; I think he’s seeing someone new. She’s stunning and seems to share quite a bit in common with him. I spent some time crying in public bathrooms today because I couldn’t hold it in. The emotional weight was intense — I felt profoundly depressed. Swimming offered a small reprieve, a brief respite from the heaviness. I won’t lie, there were moments when I truly wanted to disappear. However, a post on Reddit gave me some perspective (I’ve attached it below). It’s painful to realize that all the time we shared, all the experiences, conversations, activities — none of it seemed to matter to him. He doesn’t desire a future like that. He doesn’t prioritize our shared moments: going to the pool, discussing nutrition, playing ping pong, or even simple acts of affection. He once said I treated him sweetly, but perhaps his pr...
Read more