Aida Hashemi

You know, ever since I was 10, I’ve hated the way I looked—except for one brief year, from 22 to 23. That was when I started going to church and thought, for once, that the guys I liked actually liked me back. But that feeling was short-lived. I was wrong—they all chose other girls over me. Returning to the body dysmorphia, the crying, the self-hate—it felt like coming home. Like slipping back into my natural state. Strangely, there was comfort in it. That year—when I thought I was finally seen—was confusing. I kept asking, If they find me attractive, then why don’t they choose me? The answer? I was wrong. They didn’t find me that attractive.  Anyway, I don’t know if I want to keep going to church anymore. With body dysmorphia, you hate yourself so much that the idea of friends or family seeing you becomes unbearable. At least that’s how it’s been for me. But here’s the part I weirdly love: going back to wearing no makeup, being okay with being “ugly,” not trying to impress anyone...

Let’s talk about hunger—and why a high-carb, low-fat (HCLF) diet with a focus on fruit works so well for me. I just had a big fruit bowl—maybe 500 to 600 calories of all kinds of fruit. I feel full. Completely satisfied. I literally cannot take another bite. Okay, maybe it was a bit much... possibly 300 extra calories. Lol. But here’s the thing: I feel full . Now, if that had been donuts, pizza, chicken tenders and fries... even rice and beans with salt and delicious seasonings? Hmm. If I were bored or had nothing better to do? Yeah, I’d probably keep eating. That’s the beauty of eating mostly fruit—there’s no confusion . You naturally stop when you're full. It’s way harder to overeat. But with highly palatable, savory foods? It gets tricky. Suddenly, you’re not sure if you’re hungry, bored, or just chasing flavor. And that’s how you can still gain weight on an HCLF diet—if you’re regularly overeating things like rice (which, let’s be honest, is way more delicious to me than f...