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Survival of the fittest

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You know, ever since I was 10, I’ve hated the way I looked—except for one brief year, from 22 to 23. That was when I started going to church and thought, for once, that the guys I liked actually liked me back. But that feeling was short-lived. I was wrong—they all chose other girls over me. Returning to the body dysmorphia, the crying, the self-hate—it felt like coming home. Like slipping back into my natural state. Strangely, there was comfort in it. That year—when I thought I was finally seen—was confusing. I kept asking, If they find me attractive, then why don’t they choose me? The answer? I was wrong. They didn’t find me that attractive.  Anyway, I don’t know if I want to keep going to church anymore. With body dysmorphia, you hate yourself so much that the idea of friends or family seeing you becomes unbearable. At least that’s how it’s been for me. But here’s the part I weirdly love: going back to wearing no makeup, being okay with being “ugly,” not trying to impress anyone...
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Hunger & high-fruit, low-everything-else

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Let’s talk about hunger—and why a high-carb, low-fat (HCLF) diet with a focus on fruit works so well for me. I just had a big fruit bowl—maybe 500 to 600 calories of all kinds of fruit. I feel full. Completely satisfied. I literally cannot take another bite. Okay, maybe it was a bit much... possibly 300 extra calories. Lol. But here’s the thing: I feel full . Now, if that had been donuts, pizza, chicken tenders and fries... even rice and beans with salt and delicious seasonings? Hmm. If I were bored or had nothing better to do? Yeah, I’d probably keep eating. That’s the beauty of eating mostly fruit—there’s no confusion . You naturally stop when you're full. It’s way harder to overeat. But with highly palatable, savory foods? It gets tricky. Suddenly, you’re not sure if you’re hungry, bored, or just chasing flavor. And that’s how you can still gain weight on an HCLF diet—if you’re regularly overeating things like rice (which, let’s be honest, is way more delicious to me than f...
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I really don’t like fiction

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We only have a limited amount of time on earth, and there’s so much real history, science, and human experience to unpack. So why are we spending it on stories that aren’t even true? Isn’t that, in a way, a big lie? A kind of deception? Fiction can cloud our sense of reality. It shapes the way we see the world, but often in ways that aren’t grounded in truth. I get that fiction can be meaningful or even realistic sometimes — but how often does that really happen? It's rare, and honestly, really hard to pull off well.
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Wisdom I Carry Within

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1. Things can always be better. Things can always be worse. Let's be grateful for what we have. 2.  Alma 37:6-7 – "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." 3.  2 Nephi 2:11 – "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things."
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Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Emotions, Change Your Life♥️

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I truly believe our own thoughts can sometimes be incredibly damaging, which is why I feel so much healthier when I listen to good podcasts, audiobooks, or read more.
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Christ-centered marriage

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I had almost lost faith and believed that perhaps I was done with relationships, being in a partnership, and getting married (lol even though I had only been in one "relationship" that was only 3 months). But then I had an epiphany: the problem with my first relationship was that it wasn't centered on God or led by Christ. Instead, it was guided by us, and when humans make decisions on their own, we often fall short. We let negative thoughts cloud our judgment, and that was ultimately the issue. However, God and Jesus are stronger than our shortcomings. Their guidance brings clarity, peace, and joy that surpass human understanding. When we rely on our own decision-making, selfishness, manipulation, fear, and even biological instincts can get in the way. But when we allow God to lead, everything becomes clearer and more purposeful.
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Getting Baptized at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

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The initial reason that attracted me to this church was their guidance to eat meat sparingly. About four years ago, during the pandemic, I watched the documentary What the Health and adopted a low-fat, plant-based diet. Over the past year, I explored other diets like carnivore and keto (even going down the "plants are evil" rabbit hole—haha, good times...), but now I’m back to planning on eating meat sparingly! :) Another reason I’m drawn to this church is the concept of the Celestial Kingdom. It inspires me to be the best version of myself—not just for my own sake, but for God. When I’ve tried self-improvement purely for myself, it often felt shaky, especially when dealing with personal challenges or external opinions. However, striving to be my best for God provides a consistent and unwavering foundation. Unlike relationships with friends or partners, which can change, God’s love is constant, and this motivates me deeply. I also appreciate the fairness in the belief that t...
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