Aida Hashemi

It took just one look at a 6’2”, blonde, baby-faced guy, and I can finally say I’m healed. My ex now feels like a stranger, and I have no desire to see him again. I can’t believe that was all I needed. Yay! It feels amazing to live again without constantly thinking about someone who hurt me so badly. 11.17.25

I'm very sorry, but the cutest guys in the world are brothers. It feels strange to say, but it was love at first sight for both of them—first on April ~20th, 2024, and now on November 17th, 2025. They’re blessed with great genetics. Good for them!

I have a friend at church that I will always love. It’s like the first day I saw him, around April 20th, 2024—everything felt new and unforgettable. Today, I saw him again during sacrament, passing out bread and water, and it felt like nothing has changed. Every time I see him, I fall in love all over again. It’s making me see attraction and love differently. Physical attraction may be innate, but it’s the personality that either strengthens or weakens that initial pull. Because of his enduring kindness and intelligence, my feelings for him remain constant. He represents true beauty—not just because he’s physically attractive, but because he’s kind, smart, and empathetic all at once. Seeing him also made me reflect on how much I hurt someone I claimed to care about. Of course, he may no longer see me in a good light. Even if I appear “pretty,” beauty can easily be overshadowed by a flawed personality. Breaking peace, safety, and trust can destroy any image of goodness or light. However...

We can always lose something — that’s the quiet truth of living. So I want to see everything differently now, through softer eyes. It was a gift to spend time with him, and I’m grateful for some moments we shared. I’ll let myself relive them sometimes — not with sadness, but with warmth. Nothing in this life is ever truly ours to keep. Everything drifts, everything changes. So I’ll hold what I have gently, and love it while it’s here. Hugging him felt like peace — and even the memory of it should feel tender. Maybe that’s what heaven is: a small, fleeting touch of what’s to come. I’ll look forward to heaven — the place where everything is whole again, where nothing is missing, and love never fades. This life is only temporary, a brief and beautiful journey on the way home. And even though it’s fleeting, its beauty still matters — because some moment here is a whisper of what waits for us there.

I think anyone reading my blog would be shocked by the range of thoughts I have about this guy. But the truth is, he sent so many mixed signals — how could I not?

Man, it’s just so hard to accept everything that’s happened. It’s true — in the beginning, it really seemed like he was genuinely into it. But his love for college life and the thrill of new romantic experiences turned out to be stronger. Once he got a taste of that, whatever love he had for me — or maybe it was just lust — disappeared in an instant. The person I thought I knew wasn’t who he truly was. He’s not as kind or empathetic as I believed. There’s this façade of being a good person and following his religion, but to me, it feels disingenuous. It’s like he’s not doing good because it comes from the heart — he’s doing it just to follow the rules. It lacks authenticity.