A Whole Lot of Complexity

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I have this guy friend who fell for a girl. I always thought he and I had a great connection, and I couldn’t understand why he connected more deeply with her. But when I really thought about it, I realized they’re just on the same wavelength in a way that he and I weren’t. There’s something about one-sided love that’s very revealing — it shows a complete lack of real knowledge on my part. It reminds me that I actually have no clue who this person truly is — what he really likes, what he doesn’t, or what he wants out of life.

For me, what I want is pretty simple: a guy I’m completely attracted to and who’s completely attracted to me — someone who’s very, very kind and empathetic.

Bonuses: playing games together, spending time together, going on walks, and just enjoying being around each other.

But with that guy, I think the reason he and that girl were a better match was because they’re both really nerdy — like, genuinely nerdy in the same way. I have my nerdy moments, sure, but they’re both straight-up nerds. They have the same sense of humor, laugh at the same kind of jokes, and just have so much in common. It’s honestly unbelievable how well they match.

And then there’s the man who shall not be named. I think he really values conservatism, and he’s not a very empathetic person. What he seems to want is a wife who can cook, clean, watch movies with him, relax, maybe learn to dance, and just enjoy simple, peaceful moments together — someone very chill, affectionate, and traditional.

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